The Gusty Gusset

GERMAN POLICE have confiscated what’s believed to be the world’s fastest office chair . . .

Two teenagers from Gross-Zimmern, had pimped the seat by strapping on a lawnmower engine, cycle brakes and a metal frame. They claimed to have tested the contraption by only riding it a few metres, but witnesses reported seeing it whizzing about the streets.

The two 17-year-olds were subsequently arrested and officers are considering charging them with a number of offences including riding a vehicle without insurance, licenses or registration.

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NEED TO CHECK your blood pressure and like gadgets? Then a new pair of blood pressure sensing underpants might just be for you . . .

Electronics company Philips has developed a blood pressure sensor that you can wear - in a pair of underpants.

Researchers have recently discovered that a person’s ‘pulse wave velocity’ is closely linked to blood pressure. This is the rate that the pulse pressure wave passes through the blood circulatory system.

Philips’ latest gadget features sensors sewn into the waistband of a pair of underpants and once calibrated the electrodes can then provide accurate blood pressure readings from the comfort of your own pants.

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A MAN was charged with driving an electric-powered cool box while intoxicated . . .

New York police witnessed 57-year-old Leslie J. “Bomber” Marr swerving along the street and driving on the pavement astride a motorised cool box.

The cooler, with a top speed of 13 mph was found to contain 14 cans of beer - although according to cruzincooler.com there’s room for 24 cans and even ice.

Marr was charged with driving while intoxicated and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle.

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A BRITISH company has launched a new gizmo for those who are perhaps just a tad too lazy to lick their own ice cream . . .

Now, instead of enduring the misery of having to manually rotate and lick your ice cream - Kitchen Craft’s new motorised model will actually do all the work for you.

Apparently the ice cream is housed in an inner compartment that spins counter-clockwise when the device is switched on. The motorised cones come in a choice of four colours, are individually gift boxed . . . oh, and require two AA batteries.

All you have to do is put your tongue on the ice cream . . . and well, enjoy . . .

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EVER WONDERED what your plant is thinking? No? Well, for those of us who have real trouble just managing to keep the damn things alive, the last thing you want to be accused of is being a “goddam no good plant parent”. Yep, there are some things in life you can definitely do without and persecution by plant is certainly one of them.

On the otherhand, for those of you for whom plant preservation isn’t a problem, then a gadget called ‘Hanakotoba’ or ‘Communication Flower’ developed by Japanese toymaker E-revolution, might be just for you.

The gadget which claims to express the feelings of plants, consists of a small rod topped with the figurine of a fairy that can be put inside a potted plant or vase of water. When the plant’s owner touches the stem or leaves a small electric current passes from the rod through a wire to the fairy figurine, which then speaks in a small doll’s voice.

“What a beautiful day!” and “Let’s stay friends forever” are just 200 of the different phrases that the Hanakotoba is capable of saying, although the line “do you have a boyfriend?” is bordering on the downright disturbing. Having said that it’s probably not half as disturbing as the “stop it you’re killing me!” that I’d probably get. Although given the unfeasible high percentage of plant suicides in our household the line “I’d really rather die than spend another day with you!” would probably be more appropriate.

E-revolution achieved market success in 2002 with an equally bizarre device called ‘Bowlingual’ - a dog collar claimed to interpret canine barking which, incidentally was very popular with men.

Hanakotoba.

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FOR THOSE OF US who have a real problem with actually remembering what a vacuum cleaner looks like, let alone where it lives, but don’t have the requiste funds for house staff, well it seems that help may just be around the corner . . .

Electrolux have just produced their latest gizmo: the Dustmate - a pair of shoes that vacuum as you walk.

The shoes are made of green nylon with a rubber sole and an elastic sock to fit any foot, making them comfortable to wear. Each shoe has a tiny rechargeable vacuum fitted its base. As you walk the base of the shoes collect dust on the floor without requiring any effort.

The product has been designed for busy people since research found that only 28% of people vac their house daily, 6% less than two years ago and people are apparently too busy to spend time doing housework.

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Electronics giant Philips might just have come up with a unique solution for the domestically challenged.

They claim to have discovered the secret ingredient for automating fine cuisine - the secret is a means to measure the amount of water released while food cooks. This, they claim accurately reveals how dry and or crisp the food is.

Philips plan to launch a new range of ‘intelligent’ kitchen devices that they claim will produce food that is perfectly cooked at the press of a button.

Alternatively they could always just come up with something that reminds you to “stay away from the oven!”

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Imagine being able to immerse yourself fully into a virtual world - the sights, the sounds, the tactile sensations and even the smells? Or to not only be able to watch a cookery programme on TV, but to actually be able to smell the food cooking as well?

Reliably being able to record and reproduce smells has been a problem for some time, but that might all change now since scientists in Tokyo have built a sophisticated “odour recorder”. The device is capable of sniffing an object and then faithfully reproducing its smell by using a host of chemicals. So for example you presented the recorder with a red apple, the electronic nose would take a cursory sniff, analyse the odour and then draw up a recipe of chemicals required to reproduce it. When you want to replay the scent, the “nifty” gadget mixes the appropriate chemical recipe and then pumps the smell of a red apple back at you.

The prototype currently can only reliably reproduce certain fragrances and synthesising billions of different smells is still problematic as there isn’t a small number of “primary” odours from which others can be created.

“Smellovision” has been tried and tested many times with varying degrees of success since the 1940s, but could finally be set to enter the mainstream.

One thing’s for certain; whether the device is used for television, virtual world environments, gaming, online shopping or whatever, it’s potential uses are as ubiquitous as it is revolutionary.

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THANKS TO an interesting invention by the Kao Corporation of Japan it might soon be possible to rate a bad hair day on a scale of 1 to 10. The smart hairbrush currently in development, will be able to quantify the damage caused by treatments such as dyes and bleaching.

The hairbrush works by analysing sound as hair is brushed which the inventors claim reveals a considerable amount of information about the condition of the hair. The information is gathered from a microphone attached to a tiny
aluminium bar, which is buried amongst the prongs of the brush.

The microphone then picks up vibrations as hair is pulled across the aluminium bar, and a built-in strain gauge also records the resistance it experiences during brushing. A USB connection then feeds these measurements to a computer which compares the sound and level of resistance.

Tests undertaken in a Tokyo hair salon have demonstrated that hair in good condition makes far less noise than dirty hair with split ends. With loud sounds at high frequencies also indicating too much bleaching. It is believed that the brush could help hairdressers determine appropriate treatment for their clients.

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IF YOU have problems with the concept of packing light, the solution may be just in the air, quite literally . . .

The other problem with suitcases of course is that they take up a lot of room and can be quite heavy whereas inflatable luggage doesn’t quite have this problem.

A New York inventor has come up with the notion of inflatable suitcases that are lightweight, fold small and flat when not in use and become strong and rigid when inflated. The case walls are constructed from flat rubber chambers of air that are sandwiched between two tough canvas sheets. Both walls are hinged together, like a conventional suitcase, but are connected to a common air valve.

Air pumped into the main valve inflates the cylinders in the case walls and the whole case becomes structurally rigid for use.

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