The Gusty Gusset

AN AMERICAN has invented a jet-propelled toilet capable of speeds upto 70mph . . . Paul Stender used a rickety old portable wooden toilet and a 1,000bhp Boeing turbine engine and bolted it onto a go-kart chassis. Apparantly he also used to keep toilet roll inside to makee it look really authentic, but having discovered that the wads of paper were getting sucked into the engine and was therefore potentially dangerous, he’s since given up on that idea.

Two small holes in the door enable him to see where he’s going while a 30ft fireball trail burns out of the back of the £5000 beastie. And what does he do with it? Well, Stender takes his Port-a-Loo to thrill crowds at race meetings near his home in Indiana. A potential for a Darwin Award . . . ?

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WHERE MOST 12-year-olds would normally be into the latest shiny gadget, video game or ways in which to con their parents out of even more pocket money, Kyle Krichbaum from Detroit is more interested in gadgets of the more traditional, household variety.

Kyle has collected over 150 vacuum cleaners and claims he’s learning to identify each one by sound. Mmmm that’s definitely a skill that’s gonna come in handy in the real world . . . .

His mother Mary Lynn says he got his first ‘working model’ at the age of 3 - so that’s how they get around child slavery these days - convince the kid it’s just a toy?

Kyle’s unusual hobby landed him a guest appearance on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and he now has aspirations of owning a vacuum shop.

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A GARDENER from London has broken the furniture land speed record by clocking up and unbelievable 92mph on a sofa.

Marek Turowski broke the existing record at Bruntingthorpe Aerodrome in Leicester on a two mile track used by the MOD for top secret defence projects. It was witnessed and verified by a Guinness Book of World Records Representative.

The sofa was built by Edd China who since 1998 had held the existing record of 87mph. The speedy sofa was built by sofa.com and is road legal. Soon it will be seen touring the streets of London where the sofa retailer is based.

Mr Turowski bought his go on the sofa through an eBay auction - where all the proceeds went to the Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths (FSID).

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January / February 2007

WELCOME TO the latest instalment of weird and wonderful tales from what is, without doubt, a very weird and wonderful world.

Recent “social interactions with strangeness” have included yet more propositions, although this time with jars of honey (things are looking up), a mad mog, a muddy man, oh and a heavy breather who hadn’t quite got his act together.

So, if you’re having a bad day or just in need of a laugh then take time out for a brief sojourn into the surrealism that is “J” world and beyond . . .

January / February’s contents include:

“J” Stories: Sojourn Into Surrealism

Regulars: A**e Driving • A**e Parking • Curios and Classifieds • Did You Know? • Environmentally Friendly • Intriguing Inventions • Madness in Mixed Media • Media Musings • Parking Practice • Peculiar Pastimes • Quotes and Quips • Weird and Wonderful World

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December 2006

WELCOME TO December’s edition - and yet another month that’s seen all manner of strange and bizarre ‘goings on’ in the weird world of “J” . . . oh, and some of that reality business as well.

This month’s “pick of the strange” is perhaps both a warning against the sinister and seductive power of shiny things and an example of why it’s probably just as well that people like me don’t “do” shopping.

Where, in a “what’s the worse that can happen?” kind of scenario yours truly ended up demonstrating the sinister side of shiny things and just how not to bag a bathrack . . . you have been warned . . .

December’s contents include:

“J” Stories: When Bathracks Go Bad

Regulars: A**e Driving • A**e Parking • Curios and Classifieds • Did You Know? • Environmentally Friendly • Facial Formations • Madness in Mixed Media • Parking Stories • Peculiar Pastimes • Quotes and Quips • Weird and Wonderful World

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November 2006

WELCOME TO November’s edition - and yet another month that’s seen all manner of strange and bizarre ‘goings on’ in the weird world of “J” and beyond . . .

This month’s “social interactions with strangeness” as usual has been way too numerous to recount, but as ever they have continued to push the boundaries of strangeness . . . if indeed that can still be possible. Still, it’s not everyday that a strange man appears on your doorstep, fixes you an imbecilic grin and says, and I quote: “I’ve come to fix yer thingy!”

Or, that you feel like going to sleep after a stranger starts telling you a story through your letterbox . . .

December’s contents include:

“J” Stories: TV’s, Thingies and What’s-its

Regulars: A**e Driving • A**e Parking • Curios and Classifieds • Did You Know? • Environmentally Friendly • Intriguing Inventions • Madness in Mixed Media • Parking Practice • Parking Stories • Peculiar Pastimes • Quotes and Quips • Weird and Wonderful World

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October 2006

WELCOME TO October’s Halloween Special Edition - and a month that’s seen all manner of strange and bizarre ‘goings on’ in the weird world of “J” and beyond . . .

This month’s ‘social interactions’ haven’t strictly been interactions of a social nature as such . . . no, they’ve been a little more stranger than that and have included a rather alarming experience with a haunted letterbox, a haunted phone line and not one, but three separate incidents involving haunted toilets. Sadly, or maybe not depending on how you look at it, there isn’t enough space to document everything, but let’s just say, they redefined the notion of strange . . .

October’s contents include:

“J” Stories: The Haunted Letterbox

Regulars: A**e Parking • Curios and Classifieds • Curious Character • Did You Know? #1 • Did You Know? #2 • Environmentally Friendly • Facts and Figures • Intriguing Inventions • Madness in Mixed Media • Mog Stories • Parking Practice • Parking Stories • Peculiar Pastimes • Quotes and Quips • Strange Signage • Weird and Wonderful World • What in the World?

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September 2006

WELCOME TO September’s edition and a month that saw ones other half being propositioned on the doorstep yet again by a grubby old man, albeit this time with the promise of a couple of firm pears. Given that the previous incident involved a tin of salmon, it’s difficult to know whether things are actually improving . . .

Meanwhile back in the weird world of “J” this month’s ‘social interactions’ have involved a rather traumatic indecent exposure incident where certain members of the public felt the need to flash certain parts of their anatomy, oh and of course a rather bizarre encounter with a long sausage shaped parcel, a pet and another member of Idiots Inc. . . Enjoy!

September’s contents include:

“J” Stories: Ere! Have A Look At This! • Peek-A-Boo Parcel

Regulars: A**e Parking • Curios and Classifieds • Curious Character • Environmentally Friendly • Facial Formations • Facts and Figures • Intriguing Inventions • Media Musings • Mog Stories • Mog Watch • Parking Practice • Parking Stories • Peculiar Pastimes • Quotes and Quips • Strange Signage • Weird and Wonderful World • What in the World?

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August 2006

WELCOME TO August’s edition - a month that’s seen ones other half being propositioned on the doorstep by a grubby old man and a tin of salmon no less, although it does appear that yours truly was actually the intended target or victim (depending how you look at it); don’t ask! Still it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who experiences the strange doorstep phenomenon, otherwise known as the portal for peculiars . . .

Though having being on the receiving end of yet another visit by Idiots Inc., at least ‘life’s little peculiarities’ are interesting . . . whereas idiots well, idiots I really can do without . . .

August’s contents include:

“J” Stories: A Dimwit and a Delivery Van • Stick Waving, Wall Patting Stranger

Regulars: A**e Parking • Curios and Classifieds • Did You Know? • Environmentally Friendly • Facial Formations • Intriguing Inventions • Mog Stories • Mog Watch • Parking Stories • Peculiar Pastimes • Quotes and Quips • Strange Signage • Weird and Wonderful World • What in the World?

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