The Gusty Gusset

Ah, the things some people do to try and get out of going to work . . .

A WOMAN from Kearney, Nebraska faces a felony charge of threatening to use an explosive after she allegedly called her employer with a bomb threat in order to get out of work.

Twenty-six-year-old Brandy Killin called the First National Omaha, a credit card service centre on Saturday from a pay phone, and was arrested on Tuesday.

She’d only worked for the company three months and if convicted she could face up to five years in jail.

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A MAN returned from a world trip to discover that burglars had stolen his entire kitchen.

James Elstub from Dewsbury, West Yorkshire returned from travelling the world to find his entire kitchen - units, appliances and even the kitchen sink had been stolen.

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A HUNGRY MOUSE munched its way through thousands of pounds of cash after it managed to climb inside a cash machine.

The mischievous creature was discovered inside the machine after a customer withdrew some money and received partially eaten banknotes at the bank in Tallinn, Estonia.

A spokeswoman for the Hansapank Bank confirmed that at some stage over the weekend the chewed money jammed in the machine and the mouse seemed to have spent the remainder of the weekend turning the rest of the notes into bedding.

Security experts are investigating how the mouse could have got into the machine.

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WEST YORKSHIRE police discovered an illegal cannabis farm in Headingly, Leeds quite by chance after it caused part of a road to collapse.

Turned out that cannabis growers had tunnelled out under the road to connect to a mains power supply for the lights and hydrophonics needed to grow the weed. The evident lack of the tunneller’s engineering skills led to the discovery of over 1,000 cannabis plants and the arrest of two people.

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A PENSIONER from Zagreb is unlikely to win any awards for his grandparenting skills after he managed to collect the wrong child from the nursery.

Seventy-year-old Luka Karlovic had gone to the nursery to collect his five-year-old grandson Petar, however another boy of the same name came forward when a teacher called out for Petar. The mistake was only realised thirty minutes later when the boy’s dad turned up to collect his son and was told he’d already been collected, while the other Petar was still waiting.

Police eventually caught up with Karlovic who said that his eyesight was getting poor and that it had been the first time he’d seen his grandson in six months.

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A MOTORIST went to a local police station for help after he found a cat with a jam jar containing a mouse, stuck on it’s head, wandering beside a road in Peterborough.

A receptionist and three officers tried but failed to remove the jar, but the cat eventually freed itself by smashing the jar on the floor of the police station.

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A CAT could soon be living the high life thanks to an Australian bank issuing it with a credit card.

Katherine Campbell decided to test the Bank of Queensland’s identity security system by applying for a secondary card on her account in her cat, Messiah’s name.

The bank has since cancelled the card and apologised with a statement that surely has to have it’s customers convinced of it’s commitment to security: “we apologise as this should not have happened”.

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A THIEF in Shanghai who broke into luxury houses in order to steal “40 winks” has landed himself in jail.

Ye, a migrant worker was found guilty of breaking into five luxury villas simply out of curiosity where he tried on clothes, took showers and then slept in beds.

It didn’t seem to matter to him that the owners happened to be in the house at the time as on one occasion he discovered a woman asleep in the house, took a carton of milk from the fridge and then took to a bed on another floor.

He was eventually caught during his fifth break-in, when the owner returned home and called the police.

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