The Gusty Gusset

A RESIDENTIAL home for gay rold people is proving a huge success . . .

Europe’s first gay OAP home, a four-storey building in Berlin catering for 28 residents in luxury rooms, is already fully booked even though it’s only been opened a month.

The home was originally proposed in 1995 however plans weren’t drafted until 2001 with money raised through fund raising. The project got the go ahead thanks to the public backing of Berlin’s gay mayor Klaus Wowereit.

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A PLAYGROUND for pensioners has opened for play in Manchester . . .

The Older People’s Play Area has been set up by the local residents association on the Dam Head estate, in Blackley.

It cost £15,000 to build and is similar to an existing playground in Germany and was tested out by locals over the age of 70 prior to being opened to the public.

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JUST IN case you’ve forgotten the ever-so-challenging art of how to catch a bus . . . well, don’t despair because British bus company Stagecoach has ever-so-kindly produced an idiots guide . . .

According to the guide, passengers should “first of all decide on what bus you need” via the “number and destination on the front” (yeah, like the buses always get that right) and “wait until the bus is stopped and the doors are fully opened and step on board.” Get the general idea?

Somewhat surprisingly it seems that Stagecoach don’t consider their guide to be patronising since apparently it’s just answering questions that cause fear and uncertainty that people might have about catching a bus . . .

Although it’s still not quite as patronising as the How To Hoover guide . . . no, really . . .

You can check out the How To Catch A Bus guide here.

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DWARVES ARE robbing tourists on long-distance coach journeys by hiding out in sports bags in the luggage hold . . .

Once installed they slip out, rifle through the belongings of unsuspecting passengers and then climb back into the sports bags with the loot, undetected.

They remain hidden until the coach reaches its destination and the bags are collected by another gang member.

So far they’ve managed to steal thousands of pounds in jewellery, cash and other valuables.

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A HIGH-TECH, theft-proof special police car that cost £75,000 has been stolen . . .

The seriously pimped BMW features high-tech surveillance equipment and sophisticated electronic locks and immobilisers to make it theft proof. However it was stolen after officers left it unlocked and with the key in the ignition.

The officers left the vehicle in pursuit of a joyrider who had just abandoned a stolen car. Unfortunately the joyrider got away and when they returned to the where they had left the car they discovered it had gone.

The officers are, unsurprisingly facing disciplinary action, but there has been no leads on the stolen car.

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A NEW ZEALAND man was found to be drunk while driving a lawnmower . . .

According to the New Zealand Echo, 52 year-old Richard Gunn was stopped by police in Dargaville and asked to get the mower off the road.

He was breathalysed after police realised he was in fact a disqualified driver.

Gunn will appear in court on charges of careless driving and driving while drunk. His mower was impounded for 28 days.

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A GERMAN man managed to throw himself out of a third storey window along with a Christmas tree as he tried to take down his festive decorations . . .

The unnamed man fell 22ft after losing his balance while throwing his Christmas tree out of the window and onto the street below.

Apparently there had been an advert on TV showing people having fun throwing their Christmas trees out of the window - although it didn’t mean you were supposed to throw yourself out with them.

Unfortunately the Christmas tree didn’t break his fall and he was taken to hospital with severe head injuries. The tree on the other hand, was relatively unharmed.

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RUSSIAN SCRAP metal thieves managed to steal an entire 200 tonne bridge without anyone actually noticing . . .

The 38ft bridge, part of the only road leading to a heating plant in Khabarovsk disappeared overnight.

It’s estimated that the cost of replacing the structure will be at least ten times the scrap value, although the replacement will be made out of concrete.

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A GROUP of Czechoslovakian artists face jail after hacking into a TV weather broadcast to screen footage of a nuclear explosion . . .

Czech TV filed a complaint after being inundated with calls from panicking viewers.

The Panoram programme had been screening peaceful scenes of the local countryside when it was suddenly interrupted by the clip of the explosion leaving viewers panicking into believing a nuclear bomb had in fact gone off.

The six artists, all members of the artistic group Ztohoven are to be charged with “scaremongering and propagating false information” and face up to three years in jail apiece.

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EVER LEFT anything behind in a hotel room? Well, we’re all prone to random acts of forgetfulness, but some of the items left behind by guests at the hotel chain Travelodge make you wonder just how some folk manage to function . . .

Forgetting a coat, umbrella or spare pair of shoes is one thing, but leaving behind a 6ft by 6ft remote control helicopter, a pet cat or even a small child for that matter just beggars belief. Although all have been found along with countless artificial limbs, false teeth, glass eyes and even an urn full of ashes.

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