EVER WONDERED whether penguins enjoy doing the bunny hop? Join the excellent Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, his put-upon assistant Beaker and a bunch of penguins as they try to resolve one of life’s little mysteries . . .
A REMAKE OF THE MR. MEN for Channel Five television is seemingly at risk of causing a diplomatic ding-dong over a new character - Mr. Rude who speaks with a French accent.
Mr. Rude appears in an online advert for new Channel Five programmes - telling viewers how rude he can be and then blowing a raspberry. He also invites children to pull his finger and then breaks wind saying “ohhh, don’t seem so surpriiised” as a noxious-looking gas escapes from his behind. Channel Five claim the show is aimed at four to seven year-olds and that it’s just a light hearted bit of fun, but no offence to French people is intended.
If you visit the site you might want to check out Mr. Pernickety – voiced by what sounds like Richard Wilson and a distinctly Irish sounding Mr. Tickle . . .
MANCHESTER POLICE are on the look out for an elderly woman who attempted to hold of a Post Office.
The pensioner, thought to be aged between 65 and 70, pulled out a knife, threatened the cashier and demanded money. She left empty-handed though after staff managed to activate the alarm.
She’s described as being white, about 5ft 2″ tall with dark hair and wearing a purple coat - not a lot to go on then . . .
SMITHFIELD - a pot-bellied pig that paints pictures using a brush in his mouth, has become a celebrity in America for his canvases of abstract expressionism . . .
Smithfield’s proud owner sells the works of “art” online for about £8 and he turns out at charity events and has even appeared on Oprah.
Although scientists claim that pigs are colour blind, Smithfield’s owner reckons he can tell the difference and prefers the colour blue.
A WALKER FROM MANCHESTER has been reunited with his false teeth more than a year after losing them atop Haystacks in the Lake District.
David Packer had just climbed the fell and stopped to enjoy a bar of chocolate in January 2007. He removed his dental plate, wrapped it in a hanky and unfortunately left it behind. Walker Alan Marsden found the teeth a year later and put an advert in the lost and found section of a walking magazine which Mr Packer saw and subsequently got in touch.
A SEX SHOP in Transylvania has been fined the equivalent of £600 and ordered to supply a new inflatable doll after a man complained that his particular model had lost its moan.
The man, believed to be in his 40s, but somewhat understandably wishes to remain anonymous, also complained that the rubber doll deflated too quickly. Unbelievably, Romanian consumer protection officials upheld the complaint and the shop was subsequently fined.
The head of the local Consumer Protection Office claimed they had to investigate all complaints no matter how strange and that ‘the doll was losing air very quickly and due to a faulty electrical circuit it didn’t make the expected specific sounds.’
FOR THOSE OF US who have a real problem with actually remembering what a vacuum cleaner looks like, let alone where it lives, but don’t have the requiste funds for house staff, well it seems that help may just be around the corner . . .
Electrolux have just produced their latest gizmo: the Dustmate - a pair of shoes that vacuum as you walk.
The shoes are made of green nylon with a rubber sole and an elastic sock to fit any foot, making them comfortable to wear. Each shoe has a tiny rechargeable vacuum fitted its base. As you walk the base of the shoes collect dust on the floor without requiring any effort.
The product has been designed for busy people since research found that only 28% of people vac their house daily, 6% less than two years ago and people are apparently too busy to spend time doing housework.
WHERE MOST 12-year-olds would normally be into the latest shiny gadget, video game or ways in which to con their parents out of even more pocket money, Kyle Krichbaum from Detroit is more interested in gadgets of the more traditional, household variety.
Kyle has collected over 150 vacuum cleaners and claims he’s learning to identify each one by sound. Mmmm that’s definitely a skill that’s gonna come in handy in the real world . . . .
His mother Mary Lynn says he got his first ‘working model’ at the age of 3 - so that’s how they get around child slavery these days - convince the kid it’s just a toy?
Kyle’s unusual hobby landed him a guest appearance on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and he now has aspirations of owning a vacuum shop.
A 61 YEAR-OLD Polish man who pasted a notice on a bus stop asking vandals to stop vandalising it has been arrested somewhat ironically for vandalism.
Although his notice read “Dear Vandals - please stop destroying the bus-stop” and the police claimed he had good intentions, he was in fact breaking the law.
A PARTY REVELLER who let off a balloon in Sussex has received a letter from France accusing her of littering.
The 39 year-old woman released the balloon on New Year’s Eve with the message “Happy New Year to whoever finds this when it lands.” And six weeks later she received a letter from Toucy, some 200 miles south of Paris, accusing her of littering.
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