A METAMORPHIC plant . . . what more could you want?
It walks, it flies, it punches and it can burrow underground like the Thunderbird Mole - and all you have to do is help it catch a few balls and well, er, try and keep it alive . . .
Still, death by target board, brick wall or overly large flying insect thingy is a damn sight more interesting that just forgetting to add water . . .
You can try your hand at killing a plant in a multitude of amusing ways here
AN ITALIAN man was arrested after he decided to shoot at his neighbour’s underwear . . .
Massimo Lazzaretti, 69 had apparently been involved in an ongoing dispute with his 56-year-old neighbour in Carnago, Italy.
Lazzaretti thought he would frighten the woman enough to stay away from him by leaving bullet holes in her underwear.
He succeeded in frightening her only to the extent she called the police and he was arrested for endangering public safety.
A GERMAN farmer learned just how dangerous smoking can be thanks to a runaway tractor and 2 trailer loads of potatoes . . .
The 44-year-old man nipped into a convenience store for a packet of cigarettes, leaving his tractor and its load parked outside.
Unfortunately the handbrake somehow worked loose and the tractor with it’s 2 trailers, rolled on down a hill and over a parked car.
Unsurprisingly after having been assaulted by a tractor, 2 trailers and 25 tonnes of potatoes, the car was a write off. The tractor, on the otherhand, was unmarked and the potatoes well, they were unavailable for comment.
A GIRAFFE instigated the escape of an assortment of animals from a travelling circus in Amsterdam . . .
Fifteen camels, 2 zebras, a pot-bellied pig and an undetermined number of llamas escaped from a travelling Dutch circus after a giraffe kicked a hole in their cage.
The animals freely roamed around the neighbourhood for several hours until they were rounded up by police and circus workers.
WHAT DO YOU do if you want to ensure good weather for a special day? Well, if you have the Russian Air Force at your command then it seems you just get them to seed clouds . . .
Twelve cargo planes where dispatched ahead of public holidays in Russia - their payloads containing silver iodide, liquid nitrogen and cement powder. Their mission to rid the skies above Moscow of any moisture that might possibly spoil Russia Day celebrations.
Although, it didn’t quite go to plan for one poor unsuspecting individual who’s roof was destroyed when a sack of cement came crashing through it.
It seems the 25 kg sack failed to “pulverise” and landed on the house in the Naro-Fominsk region instead.
Fortunately the homeowner wasn’t injured, but refused an offer of 50,000 roubles from the air force saying she would sue for damages and compensation for moral suffering.
CAT BUS or Nekobus - a beastie in the anime movie ‘My neighbor Totoro’ is, or so it would seem, alive, well and fully functioning in the real world . . . well, alright, Australia . . . 
A POLISH pensioner destroyed an entire block of flats after pouring insecticide down a ventilation shaft . . .
Marcin Bartosz, 74, had been driven to distraction by an infestation of ants and had retaliated by pouring gallons of insecticide down a ventilation shaft. But when it seemed to have no effect on the insects, he decided to throw a burning tea towel down after it.
The ensuing explosion levelled the entire block of flats in Lublin, eastern Poland and put Bartosz in hospital with third degree burns.
Somewhat miraculously, none of his neighbours were injured in the incident.
NEED TO CHECK your blood pressure and like gadgets? Then a new pair of blood pressure sensing underpants might just be for you . . .
Electronics company Philips has developed a blood pressure sensor that you can wear - in a pair of underpants.
Researchers have recently discovered that a person’s ‘pulse wave velocity’ is closely linked to blood pressure. This is the rate that the pulse pressure wave passes through the blood circulatory system.
Philips’ latest gadget features sensors sewn into the waistband of a pair of underpants and once calibrated the electrodes can then provide accurate blood pressure readings from the comfort of your own pants.
A MILWAUKEE woman claimed her minivan was written off by a flying manhole cover . . .
The woman had been driving to the grocery store when she heard what sounded like an explosion. Witnesses later said that a 300lb manhole cover lifted the rear of the van about 5ft into the air.
The van lost a wheel and part of its axle and suspension before coming to rest on a nearby lawn.
According to Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewerage District the recent heavy rains have cause sewer covers to blow off all around the city.
YOU REALLY couldn’t make it up . . . another selection of curious classifieds from an assortment of British newspapers. Contact details have been omitted to protect the not-so-innocent . . .
MULTIPOSITION IN yellow, VGC £25 ono.
BAG OF baby, 6 - 30, immac con, exc working order £25.
DISHES SUITABLE for fiesta £10 each.
100% GENUINE black leather gent, large, exc cond, as new £25.
BUNDLE OF baby girls aged 9 - 18 MTHS - lots of designer including DNA, all good cond £50.
PINK HAPPY snack fantastic condition 5 point harness £30.
UPRIGHT VGC could deliver £30.
POP UP baby as new, style will deliver for £19.99.
SIZE 14 bridesmaid - forever yours delivered for £65.
DOCTORS MASSAGE - buyer collects £25 ono.
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