The Gusty Gusset

AN ALGERIAN chemist has been jailed for nine years for spraying a mixture of his own urine and faeces in shops and a pub, causing £700,000 in damage . . .

Sahnoun Daifallah, 42, hid the mixture in a 1.5 litre container, carried in a laptop bag cut so that the nozzle poked out during his attacks on Tesco and Morrisons supermarkets in England, last May.

Daifallah, who the court also heard fantasised about biological weapons, was also convicted of spraying children’s books at a Waterstones bookshop and in a Gloucestershire pub.

In total the attacks caused £700,000 in damages and lost business. Police also discovered stocks of the mixture and plans to spread it in other cities such as Bristol and Birmingham.

Daifallah, who has a degree in industrial chemistry was found guilty on four counts of contaminating food and sentenced to nine years in jail. He also had an offensive weapon - a catapult, for which he received a one year jail term. Deportation proceedings have also started.

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A MAN has been arrested for standing over an air conditioner intake using his genitals as a puppet . . .

Officers were alerted to the incident by residents of an apartment complex in Federal Way, Washington, after a man was seen standing above the air intake wearing only an unbuttoned shirt.

According to the official police report, the man was “apparently manipulating” his penis using a piece of string in a manner that was described as being, “like a puppet.”

Timothy Wayne Martin, 44, was arrested at the scene with the string still attached to his penis. He was also found to be in possession of a small amount of methamphetamine and a porn magazine.

He is now facing a charge of indecent exposure - for which he also has two prior convictions.

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A NURSERY school teacher has been sacked for spraying “smelly children” with air freshener . . .

Elizabeth Davies, 48 was accused of humiliating small children between the ages of three and six, who had wet themselves.

An investigation revealed that she sprayed them with air freshener in front of all the other children and then made them stand on newspaper until their parents came to collect them.

Mrs Davies, a teacher for 20 years, was suspended for 18 months from her position at Hafod primary School in Swansea, South Wales, whilst the investigation was underway. She was subsequently sacked after a disciplinary hearing upheld the allegations.

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FOR THOSE of us who are severely challenged in the “keeping plants alive” department, this game will present you with something completely alien . . . plants that grow faster than you can actually er, well, kill them . . .

The challenge is to clear a path through what looks like a large bar of milk chocolate, but is in fact supposed to be a garden, before it becomes completely overgrown. Oh, and make sure you turn the sound on!

Play Bloomin’ Gardens

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IF YOUR brain cells require stimulation in the work place or you just like the idea of watching insects slowly meet a gruesome death, then the Desktop Carnivorous Plant Set might be just the thing you need . . .

Or if you’ve ever been undecided whether to own a pet or a plant . . . Well now’s your chance to grow your very own colourful collection of meat-sucking, out of this world, seriously mad flora. Or pet plant . . .

So, if you fancy whiling away those slow office hours with a Little Desktop of Horrors then check out:

Desktop Carnivorous Plant Set

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